Friday, 16 April 2010

Getting Along



So, I'm a vegan. I own it. I suck at it because sometimes, I'll have a bite of the delicious spaghetti bolognese I just cooked, and sometimes, I'll include a delicious brie in my picnic, but generally, yeah, I do well.

I thoroughly enjoy looking up recipes for meals and baking and stuff to add fun and variety to what could otherwise feel like hell, but you know what I usually find? Vegans are assholes. They are so proud of themselves all the time! Can't they just be comfortable with what they're doing and not constantly announce it? ...Ha... is that what this blog is? I certainly don't intend it to be! Anyway, if I have ever come off as smug, erase it from your memory. I am extremely critical of myself and I never judge others. I really couldn't care less if anyone else ever wants to become a vegan. I don't think I'm doing something amazing for the world, I don't really care about the animals, I'm just trying to only eat food that makes me feel good. Not smug. So there.

Another thing I thoroughly enjoy -- going out to eat. When I do that, I either have to eat meat or cheese. Or fish, which I think I should eat anyway, once a week, or every two weeks. Sometimes, there's a vegetarian option, but it usually consists of more butter than I was ever comfortable with, or, as mentioned, cheese. Which I love. But it's not usually cheese worth cheating for, it's usually processed mozzarella. It's honestly not hard to just not use butter or cheese when making...almost anything! Especially salad! In some places, they have vegetarian restaurants or vegan restaurants. I even found a vegan pub in Bath! Hoorray! I had a great time eating there -- ALONE. Dudes, carnivores and herbivores hang out. It's a fact. We get along because we're NOT smug motherfuckers.

My idea is that someone (else) should make a restaurant where meat hungry wolves can dine out with seed nibbling squirrels. And everyone in between! Some people don't need meat with every meal or might enjoy trying something else! Then the smug vegans will have to put up with cow flesh being in the same kitchen, or even on the same table, heaven forbid, as their tofu, and everyone else will have the pleasure of my company!

Vegans, stop being dicks. Don't be like Mac pushers.